The Long, Slow Fast

002Oh, Coffee–why must you be such a cruel master?

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…so I found a doctor in Sechelt.  (Anyone familiar with the limping Canadian Health Care system will appreciate the magnitude of this coup.)

Unfortunately, the new doc is both thorough and conscientious.

Since I’m a new patient, he ordered a blood test to get a baseline on my “levels.”

Ugh–I don’t like blood tests.  I really don’t like them.

Big deal, you say.  What’s a little prick?

I have to fast for EIGHT to TEN hours prior.  (I read the fine print–necessities of life like coffee are included in the draconian fast.)

The lab suggests coming in first thing in the morning as most people fast while they’re asleep.

Sounds reasonable?  For someone with normal sleeping habits, yes.  For me, not so much.

The blood letting lab doesn’t open until 7:30, but I’m awake by 4:30 every darn day.  No matter how deeply I hunker under the covers or how tightly I cuddle my Chihuahua, once I’m awake, it’s game over.

Only hot, hot coffee helps at that point–magically transforming me from a grumpy mess to a somewhat pleasant human.

I can’t wait over three hours for my first coffee of the day so a morning blood test is out.

After putting off the prick for six weeks, I finally made an appointment for 2:30 in the afternoon.  This allowed me to guzzle back a couple of mugs of coffee before the eight hour fasting window opened.

And now I’m mooching around thinking of huevos rancheros, cheese pizza, avocado toast…

I’m not even really hungry yet, but all I can think about is food because I know I can’t have any.

I’m sure there’s a lesson in there about yearning for things that are out of reach.

I’ll explore it once I’ve eaten some natchos, or lentil soup or a gooey date square…




Addicted to the Nette

Friday evenings are low key in my little world.

First stop after the hustle and bustle of the work week–the grocery store!  I love food and I adore shopping, so grocery shopping isn’t a chore for me.

Next:  get up close and personal with some inexpensive Chardonnay and my trusty old laptop until bedtime.

I’d like to say I’m working on the next great Canadian novel, but in reality, I’m blogging or surfing aimlessly until I feel like it’s not too early to fire up the Netflix.  (I did say my Fridays were low key!)  Right now, I’m into reality shows.  (Bondi Ink has me seriously rethinking my decision to stop at just one tattoo.)

I realize it’s not much, but it’s all I’ve got at this point as I adjust to the catastrophic changes in my life.

Imagine my distress when I discovered the Wifi in the cottage had mysteriously disappeared!  I can’t even say it’s Missing in Action, which sounds deliciously dramatic, as there is zero action happening.

Management says the problem will be sorted soon, but as of this morning I’m heading into 24 hours off line–ugh!!!

Things you can’t do without the nette:

Get a hair cut because you can’t google salons in the area or check out reviews.

Order pizza (gooey melted cheese makes everything better!) because you don’t know the number of the local pizza place and you can’t google pizza restaurants.

Schedule that over due oil change for the car because…well you get the idea.

Things you can do sans the nette:

Read, knit, cuddle your aging Chihuahua and handwrite the introduction to that anti-Sailor rant (AKA memoir) you’re thinking of writing.

And the number one thing you can do when you’re offline–hang out at Starbucks with the other folks who take advantage of the expensive coffee and free Wifi.