Why Not?

009I’m not going to lie.  I’ve been a bit down lately.

It’s hard to meet people in this new town.  The cottage has lost its appeal.  The new job is both busier and newer than I expected.  (Don’t get me started on the technology challenges!)

And the divorce…

It’s like a threatening shadow looming over me, hiding the sun.  It’s making me wilt, and I worry that I’ll never bloom again.

What’s a sad and lonely bookworm to do when things get to be too much?  Scour the self-help shelf of the nearest book shop, of course.

I ordered a Brene Brown book.

The lady at Talewind Books recommended Why Not? by Cathy Code while I wait for it to arrive.

Why Not? is an easy read.  I finished it in one afternoon.

Cathy Code, who went through her own divorce (along with a catastrophic fire, traumatic childhood experiences, sudden death of a beloved partner…) is relentlessly optimistic.  She shares her personal experiences and includes “think positive/it could be worse” exercises at the end of every chapter.

I like the message.  I just don’t know if it’s really me.

I’m not as optimistic as Cathy Code, so a gentler approach would probably resonate more with me.  (Think:  “Your life might not be a total disaster” rather than “Everything’s going to be wonderful and you will survive and thrive!!!”)

When I reached the part about Code’s fabulous post-divorce social life and the two amazing men with whom she had deep and satisfying relationships, I felt like a loser–not the outcome I was hoping for when I went the self-help route.

Sigh–back to the drawing board.

10 thoughts on “Why Not?

    1. Thank you for the encouragement. It’s good to hear that it will get better. After living in a near constant state of anxious pessimism for so long I sometimes lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel.

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  1. Keep in mind that you’re doing the best you can, you have made some huge moves/decisions lately and that’s going to take awhile. You are incredibly brave, I know that. The older we get, the harder it is to start all over again, but you did it. Cut yourself some slack and keep that sense of humour that has me LOL reading your texts. 🙂

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement. I’m heading into two years since I discovered the Sailor’s Big Secret (BS), and this experience has ground me down. I just want to move forward, but it’s hard to plan for the future when I’m still tied to the past.

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      1. I can see that, I don’t know what to say aside from ‘this too shall pass’ trite as it may seem. Having a son together will make things a bit awkward at times, but being the bigger person, and the one who didn’t lie will serve you well in any future meetings. The law is an ass, said someone famous.

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  2. Do you enjoy group activities like a line dancing class, or a painting class for beginners, I don’t know what it’s like where you are but the local college here does lots of activities you might not have thought of, something that could tempt you into trying something new, my Mums just taken up painting.
    It’s ok to be down too.

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    1. That’s a good suggestion–thanks! I actually thought about taking a painting class when I first moved here. The only ones I could find were in the next town over (about 30 km away.) I want to find something a little closer to home. I should make more of an effort to get out and do something, rather than sitting home alone moping…maybe I’ll look into volunteer opportunities.

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